No Shirt, No Pants, No Service

While cleaning out old e-mails in my inbox, I came across the hysterical Speedo guy letter.  For those of you who don't know the background to this story, allow me to explain.  This all took place a little more than a year ago.  I was studying for final exams and writing a paper at a local coffee shop.  There was an older man sitting directly across from me at another table who seemed to be pretty occupied with some business on his computer.  All of a sudden, this guy stood up and--wow--he had no pants on.  He did, however, have on a Speedo.  Yup, awkward.  (I should quickly mention that this guy wasn't in the best physical shape and had to have been at least 45 years old.) 

Because my luck is just so incredible, Mr. No Pants struck up a conversation with me and asked what I was studying.  I explained nicely (but not too nicely) that I was writing a history paper on Joan of Arc's trial.  He then proceeded to throw out some random history facts and ask me a few historical questions.  After three minutes or so of conversation, he explained to me that he came to the coffee shop to blog and that many of his posts pertained to history.  Speedo asked for my e-mail address so that he could forward me some of his "interesting" posts.  I honestly hate giving out personal information like that to strangers, so I was very reluctant to give him my e-mail, but he quickly threw in something along the lines of "Well, you know, it would be so much better to have your phone num..."  NO, TAKE THE DAMN E-MAIL ADDRESS.  In my haste to get Speedo out of my personal space, I gave him my e-mail.  Bad idea.  I knew this, but by that point in the semester I was exhausted and had too much to accomplish to worry a lot about the repercussions for giving out my e-mail address to a pantless weirdo.

Fast forward to a week later, during the middle of finals week.  I had just gotten out of bed and went downstairs to check my e-mail.  Sitting at the top of my inbox was this e-mail from the coffee shop creeper:

Hey Shelby,

As you know, I'm an accountant by day.

However, I also do part-time work as a male exotic dancer (I work exclusively w/ female audiences).

I do the gigs to help w/ a charitable cause: for instance, I'm the entertainment at a house party fund-raiser. (I don't do this for hire-although I've received offers. It's my way of helping out.)

A couple of female co-workers coaxed me into doing it about 6 months ago. I was reluctant at first (but I caved- it was a "dare" by them, so I said I'd do it once), but the response has been favorable, so, I occasionally help out a charitable event from time to time. For instance, I just got done with an event about a week ago- they were raising money for Alzheimer's research.

So, I thought I might treat you to a 30 minute free preview- a stress release! It's a lot of fun. If you have any friends who'd like to watch, invite them, too! I also do single person shows as well, if any friends aren't available. I like to offer this to my female friends. (I've got a woman friend who is an entertainer as well- she does belly dancing, and once in a while treats me accordingly!). Don't worry if you have a boyfriend: many of the women at the charity events are married, and they're some of the best tippers!

If you're in to this sort of thing, let me know- again, it's free (you might think this is somewhat of a plebian exercise, but most participants are more of the patrician set).

Let me know.

I didn't know what to think.  For a minute or so, I just sat at my dining room table, disgusted and annoyed.  Now I can just laugh at it.  Charitable cause?  Honestly...?  It sure would be nice to have fewer creepers out there.  Oh well.  At least nothing similar has happened since then.


I just added some new photos here:


http://picasaweb.google.com/shelbyuk17


Going to go spend time with my Nook now.