Attack of the Prostitots!

So, have you ever gone through one of your old yearbooks and cringed when you saw your school picture? Yes, there's a good chance that you probably looked like a magnificent dork if you judge by the fashion standards you hold now. Don't worry. You're definitely not alone, as it's pretty much guaranteed that the majority of your fellow 7th graders didn't necessarily give a damn for being "in style" for their school pictures. Yeah, it's a guarantee that there were always at least a few of those individuals who woke up at some ungodly hour to put on their $200 outfits and spend half an hour putting layer after layer of makeup on their faces, but they were most likely the exception; let's pretend they don't exist. It's better for our egos.

Most of us are familiar with that hilarious I-just-grabbed-the-closest-thing-and-put-it-on look that is rampant in elementary and junior high yearbooks: the mismatched colors, the semi-greasy hair, the enormous scrunciis and headbands, brands of clothes we totally forgot existed, or (for the girls) even a little hint of some ridiculous color of eyeshadow or lipstick that you thought looked pretty incredible at the time.... thought being the operative word here. Anyway, despite how hilarious those old pictures might be to you now, I'd venture to say having a nonchalant attitude about fashion is the right mindset for one to have at that point in his or her life; it's not my belief that a 12-year-old needs to be overly concerned with his or her appearance and/or clothes. Looking back on my junior high years, I'm still glad that I wasn't worried about staying fashionable or looking "hott" or whatever the hell you call it these days. Those were some of the last years of my life that I could afford to be generally carefree. I didn't wear much makeup or buy clothes very often. I simply took showers in the morning, threw on some clean clothes and went off to "skoo" (Pike-VUHL vernacular) to waste another seven hours of my life.

Times are changing. Today, there is a new type of junior high girl emerging, one that actually gives a f*** about her public appearance. These "prostitots" are easily observable to the naked eye. A prostitot possesses, but is not limited to, the following qualities:

1. She wears Ugg boots; usually, her skinny jeans or Pink sweatpants are tucked into them. I won't even start on Ugg boots other than to say that certain varieties look like someone took a furry animal, beat it to death, and, from its fur, made some sort of monstrosity resembling boots. How fashionable. I for one have seen those Ugg boots with the two furry balls on strings attached to them. What are the manufacturers going for here? I can't fathom the answer to this question; perhaps it's simply beyond my fashion comprehension.
2. This girl is so damn orange... I mean tanned that I can barely differentiate between her nose/mouth area and the rest of her face, as everything just kind of blends in. Is she really Caucasian at all? By the way, this girl is in fact so crispy-burnt that she can actually emit cancerous UV rays.
3. She wears mini skirts and shorts so short that you can actually see her butt cheeks when she walks. This is definitely attractive to those hott college boys. Did I say that? I meant to say convicted child sex offenders.
4. Her $250 Dooney & Bourke purse looks as though it was decorated by someone on an acid trip. Oh well. She feels pretty cool about the whole situation because she knows the "LV LV LV LV" plastered repetitively across her best friend's purse indicates nothing other than genuine Louis Vuitton. I mean, c'mon, unless you have one of those really unique looking things, you just aren't cool enough to be spoken to.
5. She's in a competition with the ladies at the makeup counters in the mall to see how many layers of full makeup she can put on her face without it all sliding off into a pile of goo. Foundation, undereye concealer, concealer, lipstick, lipliner, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, and bronzer are all piled on her face in a very scary manner that makes her look a little bit like a clown.
6. She's a regular fashion model, representin' for all the "cool" brands. Abercrombie, abercrombie (there's a damn difference people, c'mon!), Hoe-llister, Polo, etc...
7. If her cell phone rings, god forbid if everyone in a fifty foot vicinity can't hear about the life-or-death conversation between her and her boy toy about their respective plans to get rides to the movies that night. Parents will drive them, of course, since these spoiled brats still have a few years to go until driver's licenses. Before answering, the prostitot absolutely must let the phone ring a few times on the "loud" setting so that everyone will know that she owns a cell phone.

The absolute best thing about all this ridiculousness is that these girls aren't fooling anyone with a brain. Despite the makeup, the clothes, the purses, the Ugg boots, etc., etc., they still look like 12-year-olds who invaded their older sisters' wardrobes. I can't help but wonder about these girls' parents a little bit. Most of them obviously don't have a problem with blowing hundreds of dollars on their daughters' wardrobes to keep them "in style," but do they realize that some of these girls go out in public looking a little like child whores? Needless to say, there are some very perverted individuals roaming around out there. I would not for one second allow my young daughter to dress in such a way that would invite extra attention from weirdos.

I don't get it!

Aestas Denique Adest!

Yes, dammit, summer is finally here. I won't spend too much time elaborating on how much the last two weeks of my semester sucked; suffice to say that they were most definitely the hardest weeks of my college experience thus far. In a matter of 8 days, I wrote 5 papers, prepared a 10-minute presentation for my HON 102 class, and took 3 of my hardest finals (two of which were essays that combined easily to about 10 pages of my microscopic writing). I was very angry; I definitely had a minor mental breakdown a little more than halfway through the week after I'd slept an entire four hours in the matter of two and a half days. Oh well. All that is behind me now, and summer is finally here! It seems as if my hard work paid off, as I think I'll end up with 4 A's and 2 B's. As far ever taking another 18-credit-hour semester, I'll never do that again unless it's absolutely necessary! That shit was terrible.

A very random topic happened to come up in my HON 102 (Gender and Witchcraft in the Medieval World) class discussion a few weeks ago which I think would be pretty appropriate for this blog post. I don't think it will bore people to death, simply because it has a lot of modern applicability. Basically, we were discussing chivalry in the Middle Ages, and Dr. Holliday asked the gentlemen in our class if they felt pressure to live up to the standards of chivalry in their treatment of women. One of my male classmates blurted out something along the lines of "Hell no, I think women should open their own doors," and that comment of course produced a lot of feedback from other students. My Honors class was composed of markedly different personalities; the individual statements made by my peers in response tended to be either really subdued or pretty extremist.

On this particular issue of male chivalry, I found myself somewhere in the middle ground. No, I don't think my boyfriend needs to be at my beck and call at all hours of the day. I also certainly don't expect other men to treat me this way. However, I'll admit that I do really appreciate it when a guy holds the door open for me or does something "gentlemanly." I perceive it as an indication that a guy knows what common courtesy is, and I like that in a man. If my boyfriend were consistently doing courteous things for me, I would take it as a sign of his respect for me; I would also do similar things for him, as I'm just as capable of returning those favors.

What I didn't fully agree with as far as this particular issue was the perception that chivalry has an inherently female-degrading element in its practice, which is what some of my female classmates suggested. Their rationale was that if a man goes far out of his way to do something "chivalrous" for a woman then he obviously thinks that women need to be treated specially on account of their inability to do things on their own.

What's interesting is that I honestly don't ever think about our society as a whole being sexist or misogynist until I'm exposed to hardcore feminist viewpoints. Perhaps that's partly due to the fact that I was raised in a household with two older brothers and was never given "special" treatment on account of being a girl. Alternatively, maybe it's simply that I'm blind to the disparities between men and women in American society. Regardless, I never felt less capable than men. However, when exposed to feminist writings or feminists themselves, I'm much more aware of the perceived imbalance between the genders. To be honest, I feel like feminism is much more of a defense mechanism than a progressive means of correcting any imbalances that might exist. Women aren't ignorant. Women don't make sandwiches all day long. Women aren't all housewives: these are facts that are quite obvious to me and many others. However, it seems as if feminism chooses to focus more on the sad state of women's affairs than on supporting and motivating women to rid themselves of the negative stereotypes associated with them. If women are constantly the victim in this philosophy, how is it going to really help them shed a perceieved inequality?

Even the very positive light that feminism often puts women under can, in my opinion, have inadvertent negative effects. If followers of this philosophy aggressively try to reinforce positive ideas about women, will this not simply draw attention back to the very stereotyes they are trying to banish? It seems somewhat desperate to me. Extreme example: if an uber-feminist becomes angry at a guy for going out of his way to open a door for her and gets to show her "womanly power" by rejecting his effort to be courteous, is this same guy not going to be just really confused and perhaps a little annoyed? Either that or the dude may just think the woman is incredibly rude. Either way, I don't think it's helping the case for the equality of women.

I think some perceptions needs to change. Ladies, if a guy opens the door for you, don't get offended; it's more than likely just a simple gesture of courtesy. Don't assume that he thinks you're an incapable inferior and don't feel less "empowered" by the gentlemanly offer. I'm sure many men do these things completely unaware of any negative stereotype for women that are often associated with them.

Well, it's definitely 3:00 am, so I need the hit the sack.... Big expedition to the land of Pikeville tomorrow... hooray for me.